There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
