I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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