She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
