Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
