remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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