We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
