I wanna bring you to show and tell
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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