i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
