Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
