evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
