what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
