so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Randomize
