The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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