who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
3 2 1 whiskey
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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