Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
