Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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