We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
