Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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