why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
