with your own penis?
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I don't want my vagina anymore.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize