idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
