we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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