the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
