If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
