I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
