Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
