I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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