She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
