margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
