I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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