youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
