So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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