physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
