I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize