so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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