I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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