I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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