wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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