Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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