I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize