Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
