She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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