I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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