So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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