i jhust puked up my retainher.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize