oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
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