The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
