All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
