The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
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Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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