Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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