i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My life is pants optional.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize