so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
This house was built for laser tag.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
