I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
