Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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