I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
