You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize