escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
