do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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