just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Don't you send me to vm
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
