i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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