chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
