woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
