dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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