break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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