Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
