dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
