I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Girls should come with a carfax report
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
