Just cropdusted the office
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
