grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
