He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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