Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
